You are faced with change you either wanted to create, or change has been brought upon you… and it feels a little bit scary, right?
You either have no idea of what to do next, or you do have an idea – a sort of vision – but it all seems too difficult and out of reach.
So wouldn’t it feel great if you could get an aerial view of your life and find a way to peacefully and strategically, step by step, create the life you actually want?
Well, here is a brief overview of how I go about it and have gone about it for decades. This method has been tried and tested, failed and succeeded, tweaked and upgraded. Of course it isn’t for everyone. I might even suggest it’s not for the faint-hearted. But what I do know is, it works for me and it has worked for my clients.
Let’s get started.
- Take Some Time Out
In order to get clarity we must demand some ‘me time’.
Choose your favourite quiet space, inside or outside. Switch off your phone. Don’t listen to any music or any other source of external distraction. Tell everyone you’re not available for as long as you choose.
Oh, and yes – it’s completely OK to ask for that time, just in case that thought alone caused a little anxiety inside!
- Tune In To Your Feelings
Now that you’ve got yourself alone, sit quietly. Feel what’s going on inside.
It’s possible that you’ve recently been hurt by someone, whether it’s a personal relationship or work/business related. Allow that hurt to be felt and recognised. The longer you push that sucker back down, the longer it’s going to fester and come out sometime when you’re least expecting it. Acknowledge it all.
If you are the generator of your desire for a new life, sit and discover all the feelings that are coming up. Is there excitement, fear, anxiety?
In any case, just let those feelings be known. It sometimes helps to name them. It’ll give you a feeling of self-acceptance and clarity.
- Brain Dump All Of It
If you’re anything like me, you’ll love a pen and paper, or a keyboard. Get used to writing things down, whatever comes: just write it down. This will help you to get even more clarity about what has and is going on inside.
Lose the shame over writing down things that are not positive about your current life situation. I am not asking you to focus on negativity; I am merely suggesting that having a bit of a clear out is always good for the soul.
Enjoy writing down all the positive feelings you are experiencing. Just get it all down and keep your awareness centred on how these things you’re writing down make you feel. This is a little practice in integrity. Get used to what feels good and what doesn’t.
- Choose Clarity Over Fate
This is where you can start thinking about what it is you actually want.
For those of you who are blessed to already have a vague or even clear vision, you may want to dream a bit more clearly. Think more deeply about what you really want, and more importantly how you want to feel in this new life you are creating.
If you are not so clear about what you want, it might be easier to start with the things you don’t want (see my blog post here for a useful exercise on this).
Clarity comes in different forms. For some it’s writing, for others it comes whilst being out in nature or even surprises us in a daily routine situation. The main thing is, make the choice that you want to gain clarity in the first place.
Now, write down or draw, or imagine, all the things you truly love. Things you love doing, love experiencing, love creating, love to be a part of. This is where your true nature will start to shine through. You may begin to align with memories from your childhood or things you have done or achieved recently. It doesn’t matter when it happened, it’s about tapping into that feeling of joy and excitement in you. These things will be moments where time didn’t matter and you felt a sense of fulfilment. These will be your true self, wanting to show itself.
If we leave our life to fate or some theory about the law of attraction – I have nothing against this theory except the way it is sometimes loosely applied – we are not consciously choosing our next chapter; we are merely hoping that the right thing comes along.
The real harmonic magic happens when we live in alignment with our soul and surrender to opportunities.
- Out With The Old
Now take a step back.
Compare all of your loves and joys with where you currently are in your life. How much of those things you claim to love are happening for you right now? How much of that stuff is getting ignored? How much of you is getting ignored?
Now is the time to take a blank canvas and be bold. Write down how you want your life to look. Are the same people in it? Does the same environment exist: home, work, surroundings, town, country?
What are you not doing right now that you know deep down you should be doing? Making jewellery, starting that business idea you keep ignoring, working with people instead of machines, sharing your knowledge of Yoga that you’ve been hiding all these years. It can be anything. All that’s important is to know what excites you. What do you care about? What do you find yourself thinking and talking about more than anything else?
Is your relationship working for you? Is your work something you enjoy? Are your surroundings a place where you feel a sense of wellbeing? All of these are questions you get to ask.
Think about the people you hang out with. Do they love and support you? Do you love and support them? Or are they energy vampires who actually don’t have much in common with you and what you want to experience?
This stage is all about choice. It’s about you getting to know yourself much, much better and to begin the process of living in alignment with who you really are, and not who you have been conditioned to become.
- Old Stories Get To Go
You might be surprised to realise some things about you that are just not yours. You might say to yourself: “I’m not good at painting”, because some teacher once told you so. Other things you might say to yourself are: “I don’t like hugging”, and then after challenging this you find out you’re a proper hugger – you love hugging! It’s most likely your family didn’t hug. Here’s a favourite that I was told growing up: “You can’t just do what you like”. Umm… it turns out I can! As long as I’m making choices from a place of love, it is not my problem if the people around me are taking my decisions in my best interests personally.
Become aware of your own stories and belief systems that you now get to challenge. Are they true of you, or did someone put them upon you and you now find yourself wearing them as if they belong to you? Become inquisitive. Question everything about the person you have become.
- Be The Person You Want To Become
This is where you start to make changes to your current lifestyle.
If you want a change in career or your work, what steps are you willing to take towards that change?
If it’s a relationship issue, what can you do to create more understanding? It may be to get counselling or therapy in order to move forward.
If you know your health needs an upgrade, what steps are you willing to take to make the necessary changes around nutrition and exercise?
It is pointless to create a list of life desires and to leave that list sitting on the shelf or in a drawer. You have to take action, and the least overwhelming action you can take is little steps. Every little step you take will begin to create the life you say you want. Want to challenge your apparent dislike for hugging? Ask a trusted friend or family member if you can try it out and see how it feels!
All of these steps are about navigating your present life in a way that creates the future you desire.
Little but conscious steps are key. Once you get used to it, you will feel self-trust and you will know when to take bigger steps.
- And So A Next Chapter Is Born
There is never a right time to make change. If you know the change has to be made, the longer you wait, the more unsettled you will feel. Even if the change was unexpected, you still get to choose your next moves.
A new chapter is a time of discovery and growth. You will most likely discover things about yourself that you never knew (well, your soul knew, you just weren’t aware of it!).
Your new chapter can be as exciting as you choose to make it. It’s all about how you navigate it. From your past, or from your heart. I know which one I choose, every time.
Are you facing your next chapter and would love deeper and connected assistance with planning your future?
My NEXT CHAPTER NOW coaching program will help you to create your amazing future.
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